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Commentary: It's OK to take some time to deal with our setbacks...

Updated: Dec 22, 2021

Sometimes when life doesn’t go the way we expect, some of us might reject feelings associated with disappointments, failures and losses, such as sadness and anger, because they are uncomfortable or just too painful for us to bear.

In our hurry to “think on the bright side”, “find the lesson to be learnt”, “get back to life as per normal” or “just get over it”, we could be doing more harm than good to ourselves by denying or suppressing our emotions.

Instead, one therapeutic way could be to give ourselves some time and space alone (or with a supportive person), to allow ourselves to acknowledge that it’s OKAY to feel what we’re feeling, without trying to change or fix them.

After giving ourselves the chance to grieve, ventilate and feel our uncomfortable emotions, we could then start the process of “healing our wounds”. One way is to write down our thoughts and emotions in a journal to aid self-reflection.

Nevertheless, everyone is different and heals at their own pace; what works well for a person might not work for another. But when emotional distress becomes too overwhelming for you to manage on your own, know that you are not alone and reach out for resources, a supportive relative/friend or professional help such as counselling or social welfare services.

Take care ♡

Disclaimer: This post does not constitute professional advice. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please seek professional help or medical attention near you.


About the Author

Hi, I'm Janet Gay and I offer individual therapy to students, adults and mothers. As a certified counsellor, teacher and mother of three, I can relate to the desires, pressures and issues of many people living in multi-cultural Singapore.

I have worked with clients looking for help in self-development, stress, self-esteem, anxiety, depression and relationship issues.

If you wish to talk to someone without feeling judged, gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your issues, overcome your challenges and live a more enjoyable and meaningful life, get in touch with me today.


#stress #grief #anger #sadness #anxiety #depression #parenting #relationships #counselling


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